nicole and i bought bikes like… probably five years ago now. we went to a little bike shop near USF and spent like an hour looking through them and test riding. for me there were two that i liked – a red single gear bike, and a green multi-gear bike that was on sale. they both were going to be about the same price. the green one had a little rack type thing on the back for putting stuff, and the overall impression was the bike was old school and very cool. but test riding the red bike felt more ‘visceral’ and it felt right, probably as a result of having no additional gears. so i bought the red bike.
to this day, every now and then i remember that green bike and regret my purchase of the red one. just little pangs of inwardly directed rage. i wish i had known then how i would feel about the bikes, but i didn’t and nothing can change it.
some seemingly stupid little things you just can’t get past.
Current Mood: quarantined Current Music: Eyes Wide Strut – Tunnelvisions Remix by Moscoman, Tunnelvisions, and WOOZE
well it’s been a bit since the last post. a lot has happened since then. so… so very much.
casting for the film went smoothly, mostly since i already had an idea of who i wanted for it. got everybody on board, and then we looked at scheduling. given a number of options, my favorite was to blast through with filming on the 5th and 6th of october, leaving me with about three weeks to pull together props, rehearse, and get all the additional equipment i needed for the film. a lot of shit to do.
the weeks were a blur. due to the nature of the film, some of the props required a TON of work to put together, both of the ‘soft’ and ‘hard’ variety. it was exhausting, but i managed to get everything i needed with days to spare.
the rehearsals were amazing, really led by the actors themselves. we met twice – once to read through the script together and to get everyone on the same page with backstories and everything, and then once again to nail everything down after the actors got off book. the first meeting was very encouraging, and the second (suggested by the actors) was everything i needed to instill confidence in the production. every step of the way i was reassured that my decision to cast dedicated actors in this was was the right one.
the equipment procurement wasn’t as overwhelming as it could have been, mostly because sam lent me the use of his stuff. that took out the need for a number of big purchases, and opened me up to the possibility of the bigger purchase of a new lens. the thing is awesome; it’s gigantic and smooth and produces a beautiful picture. and luckily sam also supplied the tripod and mounting system necessary to tame such a beast.
all the way up to the last minute, i was working on shit. getting the permits, testing the equipment, aging the props, doing makeup trials. i was up until 3AM the night before our first day of filming finishing up the storyboard. fucking insane.
and then the weekend itself came. we were up at 5 30 each day, prepared lunches and got our stuff ready to go. worked with the actors on makeup. and then set off. on each day we got there a bit after our shooting location opened, which was frustrating but not unexpected. we set up our area, got everything ready, and then set to work.
my crew was the best. sam, nicole, and roy all worked together as a team better than i possibly could have imagined. everyone went above and beyond my expectations and it felt like this crew had been working together in this way for years. it felt like a legit production, with all the pieces in place and everyone functioning as a well-oiled machine.
i don’t know how many shots there are in total. kind of a ton for a 10 minute film. but we worked through them the best we could, and at a good pace. we were filming in a public location, so we did have to deal with people. and kids. insane, screaming kids. also a weird meth head family. but honestly nothing terrible.
as the first day of shooting came to an end, i think everyone was on a high for how well it went. the actors were amazing. every shot was framed better than i had imagined. and we all had worked together, collaboratively, to make something awesome. i couldn’t have asked for a better day of filming.
we went to bed early that night, exhausted from the work. i don’t know that i’ve recovered since.
the second day of shooting also proceeded quite well. everything was going as planned, maybe moving a bit more slowly than the saturday, but still moving well. unfortunately, things came to a halt with the rain. at first the odd sprinkle, but eventually a full-on downpour. we had to call it early. to be fair, we weren’t moving quickly enough to realistically have finished filming that day anyway. but it was so very disappointing to have gotten so far and then have to put everything on hold.
until november.
so that’s where i am right now. in a weird limbo. at this point, it almost feels like the filming occurred in the distant past. the forward momentum came to such a halt that it feels impossible that we could pick back up and get out there again. but we will! it’s just such a long time to wait.
* * *
in the interim, we’ve been busying ourselves with various things. it’s october, so scary movies has been one activity. we had a halloween party this past weekend, which took a bit of effort. and i somehow ended up guest lecturing at the university of tampa last week, which was an incredibly fun and rewarding opportunity that i loved. obviously there’s work work to deal with. and i feel like i’ve been sleeping more since the filming, getting to bed earlier than usual. or maybe just early compared to when i was getting to bed while working on the film. i dunno. it’s hard to feel complete when you’ve been put on hold.
the guest lecturing gig was all about d&d (of course, my area of expertise). our friend is teaching a class and using role playing games both as a learning tool and as actual content for the course, and this discussion about the game was intended as an introduction. i had no idea what i was getting myself into, and i did very little preparation the night before the class to try to figure out what i was going to talk about, which resulted in a rough bullet point outline. i even found a video i could play that we could watch through in the event that i ran out of stuff to talk about. but surprisingly, i had way more than enough content to go over. you don’t realize how ridiculously complex and deep some of this stuff is until you are trying to explain it to a group of kids who (mostly) aren’t familiar with the game. but we didn’t touch on plenty of pieces of the d&d puzzle, and even those i got to talk about were mostly just kind of glossed over. but i think, at the very least, i communicated my excitement and enthusiasm about the game. things maybe started off a bit slow, and i covered some boring stuff at first, but somewhere along the way (pretty quickly) i found my voice and got comfortable, and when i started talking about the things that excite me about the game, i think everything clicked.
the students were awesome and engaged, and a handful of them were pretty willing to talk. one of the students actually plays d&d currently and is planning to DM soon, and she was actually able to speak to some things that i couldn’t. which is exactly the kind of discussion i was hoping to have. it was a lot of fun, and i left the campus feeling good about myself and went on to reward myself with taco bell. i was later told that the kids really liked me and thought it was a fun class. i’d absolutely do this again.
the halloween party was awesome. good turnout, good food, good people. so much to drink. the living room got kind of hot, but that provided us all the impetus to branch out into mini-groups in the kitchen, dining room, and office. so more focused conversations. it was really great, and kind of did hearken back to the parties of oldentimes. having new and old friends there was very nice, and everyone got along really well. i regret not being able to spend more time with everyone there, but there’s only so much you can do. i did make an effort to spend time in each of the various rooms at least. by the time people started trickling out, someone had the idea of bringing out the DDR pads and playing some dance dance revolution. which was an insane and ridiculous and hilarious and exhilarating way to end the evening. everything ended around 2AM, which, for old people like us, is quite good.
it feels like many more things are going on. big night at trattoria pasquale, tim’s birthday, the actual playing of d&d, planning for the marilyn halloween party, planning for the georgia game weekend trip, “planning” for the VET, etc. i distinctly remember myself thinking before, probably back in general cornelius times, that i function best when i’ve got a lot of plates spinning. i don’t know if i’m functioning best right now, but i do feel good about being more productive. i have had a bit of a backslide and am looking at facebook again, but also these are insane times with regards to current events so it’s difficult not to follow these things. whatever the case, i am glad to be working again, and am so very looking forward to completing this fucking film.
this weekend we had the readings / auditions for the film. i reserved a space at the seminole heights library (after two or three weeks of wacky hijinks resulting in my being unsure of whether i had the room or not until the very last minute). it served the purpose well, providing us with ample space to do our readings, and at least enough privacy to not disturb the innocent library goers. the turnout was good! everyone who i had spoken with was interested and able to make it, totaling five people. i selected two short parts from the script for the actors to read, and gave everyone a chance to read for each character, randomizing scene partners so everyone was able to to read with at least two people.
i feel like calling the auditions a success is an understatement. as soon as i heard the first people read, i immediately knew i had made the right decision in putting this together. i’m very confident i have found solid actors to work with, who will be able to give this script life. everyone who read had a different take on the characters, which is truly magic when you’ve had your own voice reading each part echoing through your head for the past month.
what’s so exciting about this is that i could choose any number of combinations of the different actors in either role, and each time it would produce a different flavor of the same story with its own merits. and i get to pick my favorite of all these possibilities. it makes me regret not having spent more time in the past working with more people, especially during college when there were so many who might have been interested in working together. corey mentioned today how water closet diaries is the last time we really reached out to cast something, and with the exception of a couple shorts i did with jira and karen, that’s basically true. it feels like a missed opportunity. but moving forward i will continue this way.
seeing the actors read bits of the script has really energized me. i’m excited to plow ahead on this project! i can’t wait to dig into the characters with the actors and really bring this thing to life. and in the back of my head, i keep thinking about how we have so much talent already available for our next project.
this week i make my casting decisions! and i need to get to work in earnest on the props – a not insignificant bit of work for the production. and i need to nail down my location. just the start of work on this film, but now we’re in it and can only move forward. onwards and upwards! excelsior!!
Current Mood: totally jazzed man Current Music: stincubus – just a phase
we’re doooooing it! i’ve moved past the writing phase, and have landed in the real pre-production goodness – planning, casting, and so on. there are a lot of particulars of this story that are going to require more work than the typical film up front, specifically within the realm of prop-making. which is quite unusual for me (outside of francis’ fairy tale and the ill-fated 70s porn star movie). fun work, but it will be a challenge.
right now i’m tied up in the casting process. i followed through on my threat to reach out to people and not just act in it myself, and i’ve gotten a much better response than i anticipated! i almost regret reaching out in such an open-ended manner, because now i’m going to have to put a few people “on hold” that i can’t cast here, but who i really want to work with. my next project will likely be built around these actors, and hopefully they’ll be patient enough to wait for it.
starting to schedule things with people is making this whole thing feel a lot more real than it did about a week ago. now that i have a better idea of where things are, i’m thinking filming will be complete within a couple months (which doesn’t leave me all that much time for the aforementioned props). the ball is really rolling now.
the script itself is in good shape. following some feedback on draft two, i churned out a third and (mostly) final draft. response has been really encouraging, and i am still feeling good about where everything is in the story. there may be a bit of massaging once i get the actors locked down and i work with them on the parts, but it wouldn’t be much, and that may not even be the case.
so now that i have a solid script to work with, a story that i like, and things are beginning to take shape, i’m starting to get a voice in the back of my head that is afraid of messing it all up. when i finished writing it and realized i liked it so much, i thought maybe i should try to pass it off to someone else to film. i’ve thought about turning it into a stage play for someone else to produce (not impossible, but there’s one major hurdle that would take some doing to get around). i have a fear that i won’t do the script justice in film form. i just have to push past that concern and believe in the story. once i really get into visualizing the shots and putting together the storyboard, everything will start to become more clear.
after what seems like months, i’ve finally gotten the second draft of my script in the bag. it took a lot of retooling, and a lot of focusing in and clarification, but in the end it just took a bunch of writing. i spent the whole day in and out of the script editor, nailing down the last few pieces that had to be figured out, and then just banging that shit out. ooohh my head. the whole third act (of a tiny baby 12 page script) was revised, so that’s where the bulk of my efforts went.
it was an interesting revision process, and the writing was not nearly as demanding as i had imagined it would be. trades were made between drafts, from exposition-heavy to light-weight dialogue. the whole thing runs a lot more smoothly now, but it’s tough to say if story heft was lost in the abandonment of words. we’ll have to see how it stands up against review again. but at least now i’m past writing (the struggle) and i’m onto refining again.
ideally, only minor tweaks remain, and then i can launch into pre-production and start to get this shit off the ground. funny that a project that was spawned from a desire to churn something out quickly has turned into such a large-scale effort. but it’s still possible to scale back; the most important investment for me right now is the writing, and now i can safely say that investment has been made.
* * *
this weekend was very nice despite spending my day working. friday night was another great d&d session, though there was somehow more splitting of the party even after the gang had ostensibly learned their lesson last week. we had a shit ton of pizza and wings and drinks and coffee, though, and it was a really fun evening. yesterday was a lazy day. there was one (or two?) nap(s), game playing (spider-man), and movie watching (neverending story). it was my first time watching the neverending story, and my general impression is that it is, in fact, a kids’ movie. but the visuals were excellent, and a lot of the acting was surprisingly good for that kind of film. my biggest disappointment was that we watched the original german version, meaning the sweet soundtrack by giorgio morodor was noticeably absent. so really what even was the point?
in other news, the world is burning down all around us, and these are surely the end times. it is sad and scary, and every day i hope this ongoing nightmare will come to an end.
i now feel physically exhausted from too much leftover pizza, and too much writing. i leave you with this funny picture of a pug looking at a cookie that has a quote about patience and makes reference to jesus for some reason.
here i am! i was here the whole time! hiding. and not posting stuff. because of… good… reasons. ohhh all the good reasons. just… you know, bein’ busy and livin’ life.
today i was given the distinct honor to be asked to work on a sharepoint site not for the company i work for, but for one of our customer companies. beautiful sharepoint, in all its glory. imagine working with sharepoint full time as a job! imagine the fun to be had! the discoveries to be made! the bugs to report! needless to say, i declined the opportunity.
i spent a good portion of this evening on the script. just addressing issues and small rewrites, none of the major stuff yet. i’m feeling more apprehensive about the major changes, mostly because though i know what i want to do generally, i’m not sure how to do these things specifically. i just need to make some decisions.
this weekend i worked on beginning to catalog my comic book collection. got an app to make the job easier. it’s been fun getting back into the comics and “reading” again (though i really should also be reading things without all the pictures). i missed the stories, and have been pleasantly surprised to find some more stylistic issues among the small number i’ve read in the past few weeks. it’s nice to have have a hobby that only drains my wallet.
last friday we had yet another d&d session entrenched in the depths of the hidden shrine of tamoachan. this marks the fourth or fifth session in what was designed to be a single session dungeon. nothing wrong with that, though. i’m having a lot of fun running the adventure, and this session was particularly fun because “shit finally got real” for the party. and they weaseled their way out of what have could have been a very bad situation for the characters. in spite of the repeated dice rolls and book keeping i had to do for the 15 zombie fight (which necessitated opportunities of attack, regular attacks, coin flips, and saving throws for all 15 pretty much every turn), it was thrilling enough to get me thinking about our adventure again. i want to design my own dungeons again. and i’ve been mentally going over all the loose ends and imagining the fun ways to tie things up as we (slowly) move towards the climax. this month marks our third anniversary for the campaign, and there are still pieces i had planned from the beginning that we haven’t gotten around to yet. it’s exciting to see it all come to pass, and it’s been such a wonderful experience playing with this little group. as much as i love playing d&d as a player, my time as a DM has made some of my greatest memories with the game.
this weekend i took basil to get his nails clipped and he was really scared and was shaking so much. it broke my heart and made me want to cry.
after taking a couple weeks off from my script to work on more pizza-centric projects, i’ve dived back into it. i’m not deep yet, but the second draft has begun.
the distance i put between myself and the story really paid off. i was able to look at the script critically, and instead of thinking “there’s no way i can make this better without it sounding inauthentic”, i was able to slash through whole paragraphs of text with notes like “awkward” or “make better”. and with nicole’s help, i was able to get better perspective on what works, and which concepts need more clarity to really come across to the audience.
but beyond just these necessary surface fixes, more consequential plot changes are rising up as well, and i believe the story is going to be much improved for it. there was a whole aspect to the script that i had come up with and even fleshed out, but written off as world-building, that i now realize a viewer would have felt robbed of when they finished the film without seeing it play out on screen. it needs showing, not telling. and so it is now going to play heavily into the structure of the story. it would have wound up as a completely founded critique of the film that i would be kicking myself for after the fact, and it didn’t even occur to me to include it until now.
this sort of progress is something i only would have expected of a situation where an unwritten concept was revisited years later, re-examined, and morphed into something else entirely. instead, this happened after a short break. and i’m not feeling as though i’m sacrificing something good for something better; instead, i feel like i’m just improving and evolving the idea into its best realization.
after a week of pouring my heart and soul into it, my quest for pepperoni has finally come to an end. it was a long and arduous quest, but at the end there was some pretty okay pizza as a reward, and that’s about all anyone can ask for, isn’t it?
my copious amounts of pepperoni prep (prepperoni) came to a head and i finally chucked those suckers in the smoker. it was a low and slow deal, as smoking typically is, but in this situation it was noticeably minus the smoke. largely uneventful, the process took about three and a half hours, much of which i spent reading online about how i would soon succumb to botulism due to my hubris in thinking i could safely prepare such a meat.
the only real issues with the cooking came near the end; following a bit of boasting about how the sausage was going to be done long before the expected time, my temperatures began dropping. i freaked out a bit and probably overcompensated, but everybody got where they needed to get and nobody got hurt. a win for us all.
the resulting roni was a beautiful red color, just like you see in the movies! the smell was delightful, and when all was said and done, i held in my hands something truly special and meaty. kind of like basil.
tunes of note during the cooking process: prince’s album controversy, nicole’s occasional concertina tunes, and of course notorious b.i.g.’s “big poppa”.
once coming up to temperature, the pepperoni was rushed off to a cold shower, then promptly stowed in the refrigerator to congeal / become a real boy. i would not see it again for another eight hours or so, at which time i helped myself to a bite (after educating nicole on the appropriate actions to take once the neurotoxins began to take effect).
just handling the slimy sausage was enough to convince my that i had worked some sort of alchemy – the grease seemed just right. the flavor and consistency, however, were another story. the flavor was very close, but a bit more aromatic and slow burning, rather than a sharp bite. the consistency was more packed meat than cured slice, which was unfortunate, but it was not so off that it was a problem. it just wasn’t… perfect.
in addition to the pepperoni, i used the remaining pork to create a second sausage – “sausage” sausage. you know, the kind you get when you order a pizza. “italian” sausage, i suppose. this recipe was mostly adapted from serious eats, but i also took some notes from the “sausage maniac” who outlined my pepperoni recipe. with this one, i felt i had a lot more wiggle room on the ingredients, and by the time i was done seasoning the meat before grinding, i had something that i knew would be good based on scent alone.
this sausage was packed with fennel seeds, red pepper flakes, and the music of the clash and the talking heads.
with all the pieces in place (including my simple pizza sauce, kissed with the latin jazz of dizzy gillespie), i was ready to get down and dirty on some pizza making. the plan was three pizzas: one with my pepperoni, one with my sausage, and one with my sausage and store-bought pepperoni. the oven was hot and ready, the cheese had been diced into cubes; all that was left was to make some pizzas. and to throw on some jamz.
my final musical choice would be the defining one for the pizza, a marriage of all the different sounds that had come before into one magical album. i needed passion. energy. intelligence. sex. funk. and horns. i narrowed it down to two artists – the red hot chili peppers, and no doubt. and so i made my decision.
i set to work on my dough, poking and pounding it into submission, constantly flouring it, and whispering sweet nothings into its ear. once i got it to a place where i liked, i set about topping the beast with my weird little pepperonis, and then deftly tossed that thing in to oven onto my hot and ready pizza stone. it… wasn’t a ten point landing. a bit of nudging was required to get that sucker into place. but it was fine. it alllllll went fine.
okay so it looked kind of like a shitty pangea. but looks aren’t everything! it also tasted like a shitty pangea. not really though. it was fine. the crust was a little too thick, an issue which has plagued my pizzas since i began these pizza adventures, but it was not a bad crust by any means. the pepperoni worked well in this context, much better than just eaten on its own. i cut the slices thick on purpose, and i think that suited the pepperoni well.
the second – the sausage pizza – was definitely an improvement over the first. the crust was largely the same, but the browning on the cheese turned out much better. i rotated this pie halfway through, which i had always been too afraid to do in the past (see exhibit a – pangea). the task was surprisingly easy though, with no damage done to the shape of the thing.
but the real star of this show was the hot italian sausage. unlike previous pizzas where i pre-cooked the sausage, i opted to apply this sausage raw and let it cook with the pizza, which turned out to be a huge success. the sausage was perfectly cooked, and i must say the flavor was incredible – any fears i had of over-seasoning were needless. the texture was spot-on, with a slight meaty chew. savory and melty and perfect. it was the perfect pizza topping, playing spicy against the sweet and tangy sauce – you could really taste the bounce of dizzy’s rhythm in every bite.
i prepped the final pizza, adding a brushing of olive oil to the crust to see what difference that might make, tossed it in, and waited patiently.
this one actually was pretty successful. the clear winner of the three. the defining characteristic? besides it being circular, it was the thin crust. i was able to get this one noticeably thinner than the other two, despite this one actually being made from the largest dough ball. thus the pizza was also the largest in size. the sausage and (store bought) pepperoni were a fine combination, but honestly all i cared about was the sausage at that point.
all in all, it was a good pizza experience. BUT i am saddened to say i don’t think any of these pizzas lived up to the last pizza i made, which is the one that convinced me that making restaurant-quality pizza at home is possible. it all comes down to the crust, and i don’t think any of these got thin/crisp enough in the right proportions to get there.
so then what are the major takeaways from this pepperoni quest / pizza adventure?
pepperoni, though achievable in the home kitchen, is not worth the time. you get more bang for your buck with straight up sausage.
cubed cheese does seem to brown better, but it’s tough to distribute properly and tough to avoid over-cheesing. more experience needed.
my sauce recipe continues to work. this particular can of tomatoes was the most acidic and least sweet i’ve ever encountered, so i actually had to sweeten the sauce a bit for once. it worked out well though, and i daresay the more acidic start resulted in a better overall flavor.
the crust was solid once again. the flavor was improved over last time, which i attribute to the additional sugar. it was easy to work with despite being a bit sticky when pulled from the fridge, and i had to deal with very little tearing (which i mostly attribute to bringing the dough to room temperature).
the bottom of the crust was not as crisp as i would have liked. need to get that stone hotter, god dammit!
thin crust. make a thiiiin thin crust.
believe in yourself and anything is possible.
go wacky with flour. it’s not gonna hurt you.
rotate the pizza! be a champ.
didn’t get anything from the olive oil, but i’d be willing to give it another shot.
all in all, a worthwhile adventure. one which i’ll be undertaking again, no doubt. with that, i’d like to leave you with this poem i wrote about pizza:
from all the drugs the one i like more is pizza
from all the junks the one i need more is pizza
from all the boys the one i take home is pizza
from all the ladies the one i kiss is pizza
pizza is my boyfriend, pizza is my girlfriend
pizza is my dead end, pizza’s my imaginary friend
pizza is my brother, pizza is my great granddaughter
pizza is my sister, pizza is my favorite mistress
from all the shit the one i gotta buy is pizza
from all the jobs the one i choose is pizza
from all the drinks i get drunk off pizza
from all the bitches the one i wanna be is pizza
pizza is my beach house, pizza is my hometown
pizza is my king size bed, pizza’s where i meet my friends
pizza is my hot hot bath, pizza is my hot hot sex
pizza is my back rub, my pizza is where i’d like you to touch
despite my impressive behind-the-scenes cellphone photography and rambling explanations on my pizza artistry, i feel like a real look behind the curtain into the process itself is in order. of course, i’m talking about the music being used to infuse the pizza and its various components with love.
any pizza auteur worth their pizza salt knows that the most crucial ingredient in your pizza is not the artisan mozz cheese blend, or the locally sourced heirloom tomatoes for the sauce, but the phat beats or “jams” in which the pizza is conceived. a pizza that was made in the loving embrace of conor oberst’s dulcet tones is going to taste far different from one produced with busta rhymes blasting in the background. that’s basic science. so you can imagine the importance of the various auditory environments in which i am bringing each individual piece of my master pizza into the world. dough massaged by miles davis’ kind of blue? delectable. pepperoni forged in the fires of rush’s moving pictures? complex and sophisticated. mozzarella cheese pulled to the ghostbusters II soundtrack? sacrilege!
so how does one incubate the perfect pizza? difficult choices must be made.
why yes, it was a marvelous night for a moondance. van morrison’s moondance set the scene for my doughcraft. delicate, sensual, open-hearted and intelligent; a perfect flavor profile for the foundation of my pizza. simultaneously light and hefty, this album packs a punch that kneaded my dough into soulful submission. this pie is bound to be laden with the positive vibes of van morrison’s sweet open-mouthed kiss.
pepperoni requires a touch more passion. something hot and raw to stand up against the spiced majesty of the sausage. pressed for time, my fire from the hip choice was janelle monáe’s latest album dirty computer. a sexually liberated romp, packed with funk and hip hop and guest artists, this album contains that essential “fuck you you bloated piece of shit” to trump’s america that traditional pepperoni so desperately needs.
the pepperoni process was lengthy, however, and additional auditory infusions were required. i was looking for something… spicy.
“shake it baby, shake ya titties!” – marvin gaye, songwriter of “what’s going on”
spicy like marvin gaye’s final love letter to intercourse, midnight love. pepperoni requires a passion for love on par with that of the master himself. let’s get it on is too on the nose, and i want you contains too much inappropriate moaning for cooking; conversely, midnight love provides the perfect examination of intimacy through the weary eyes of a middle-aged sex addict with depression. truly, gaye’s music is just as ideal for a night of lovemaking as it is for a pungent stick of meat.
these flavors and more are expected to be evident in the finished product, my most perfect pizza. more musical accompaniment is needed for my 3+ hour long pepperoni slow cooking session, along with the sauce brewing, and of course the final pizza immolation. what other jams can i pack into this pie to perfectly compliment these already great artists? the answer remains to be seen, but good guesses might fall somewhere in the polka or mariachi genres.
what music do you cook in the nude to? tell us in the comments, and don’t forget to like rate and subscribe!
Current Music: “pepperoni pizza is good to fuck” – marvin gaye
i’m makin a pizza and shit got real. real pepperoni. i dedicated my evening to giving painful, romantical birth to three giant logs of pepperoni. triplets. they say parents can’t choose a favorite, but if i had to pick from pepperoni 1, pepperoni 2, pepperoni 3, and basil, i certainly wouldn’t pick basil.
so, in truth, this isn’t going to be 100% legit pepperoni. it’s not going to be dry cured; instead i am going to smoke it (minus the smoke) since i have neither the time nor the resources for dry curing. so it’s kind of up in the air how this stuff is going to turn out. but i feel pretty good about phase one of the production. tonight i did the grinding and stuffing, leaving the cooking to either tomorrow or saturday.
my prep involved cutting up meats, grinding some spices, drinking some wine, and being at the ready with my trusty anus extract.
beef & pork & pork back fat go into this one, at a finer grind than i have been doing with my other sausages.
this is the gross puke slime paste i wound up with after grinding all night long. mixing in the spices, a bit of wine, and the cure give it a nice reddish brown color. the red would come out even more if i were going down the dry cure route, but i’m pretty happy with how it was looking even at this point in the process.
annnnd after stuffing into their natural casings, we have our babies. long bastards. the stuffing process was shitty. lots of air in the line because the meat was like a thick paste. but a little sensual manipulation and everything was packed as tightly as i had hoped.
hard to say how it will turn out. even though i had some left over after the stuffing process, i didn’t cook it to give it a try. it wouldn’t taste the same, and it’s far too late to make any changes at this point anyway. i am mostly interested in how the pepperoni “behaves” once sliced and cooked on the pizza without having undergone the dry curing. we’ll see how close this comes to real pepperoni. i plan on picking up some sliced pepperoni at the store beforehand, for comparison purposes as well as to make sure i’m able to enjoy at least one of the pizzas.
and here are a couple of my dough children. two of the three. i made these yesterday, based on some ridiculous recipe i found on reddit.
after several attempts at doughs based on others’ work and my own adjustments with the incredible pizza dough calculator, last time i made pizza i decided to give some random redditor’s recipe a try based on their pictures, and i ended up making my best pizza to date.
it was glorious. despite the fact that the recipe is thrown together with sloppy volumetric measurements rather than weights, with shit like “just keep throwing flour in there”, it somehow produced everything i have been looking for in a pizza. so i stuck with that recipe this time, the only modifications being a bit more sugar and making use of the finer 00 flour. but even if everything turns out the same as last time, i’d still be happy.
my remaining modifications for these pizzas include altering the cheese by dicing rather than shredding (to hopefully obtain better browning), and making my own italian sausage for topping at least one of the pizzas. gotta find a recipe for that still. should be a lot easier than the pepperoni though.
jesus i want pizza now.
Current Mood: 😴sleepy Current Music: “a girl is a girl” – sexist musical
